Beta filk - comments welcome.

After fleetfootmike and I did some surgery...
It's the End of the Age as we know it
=====================================
TTTO REM, It's the end of the world as we know it

That's great, it ends with an earthquake,
Eagles take an airlift
And all the hobbits are afraid.
Eye of a hurricane, listen to Mount Doom churn –
Small folk serve the world’s needs,
Others serve their own needs.
Boromir fights it but he has no strength.
Boromir is too weak, can't hold out;
Small stones start to clatter with Fear, Fire, Foes!
And -
Wraiths of old Kings, looking for the One Ring,
Some Uruk-hai for hire and a combat site.
From the East they’re coming in a hurry with the Nazgul breathing
Down their neck.
Town by town the Orc-hosts conquer, slash, slaughter, burn.
Look at Uruks playing! Fine, then.
Uh oh, overflow, population, last alliance, it'll do.
Save yourself, serve yourself. World serves its own needs,
Listen to your heart bleed,
Fight the long defeat now
And the Elves are in the right – right?
Aragorn’s patriotic, stand, fight, star-light,
Frodo’s - pretty - psyched.

It's the end of the Age as we know it,
It's the end of the Age as we know it –
It's the end of the Age as we know it
And I feel fine.

Third Age – zero hour.
Don't get caught in wizards’ towers.
Moria, Balrog burns,
Gandalf in a shock return.
Lorien, elvish visions, Shire burning, blood letting.
Every motive escalates.
Helm’s Deep floodgates.
Light a candle,slip away quick. hold a star-glass,
Hunters, hunt on. Isengard crushed, crushed.
Uh oh, we fear
Dead Men here.
Oathbreakers steer clear!
And Saruman, Saruman, and Saruman tells lies.
Offer me solutions,
Offer me alternatives
And I’ll decline.

It's the end of the Age as we know it,
It's the end of the Age as we know it –
It's the end of the Age as we know it
And I feel fine.

Failing Frodo dreams of knives,
Morgul-blades and death arrives.
Beacons lit in a line,
Last Heir of the Dunedain!
Shelob stings and Gollum sneaks.
Shelob stings, Gollum sneaks and Sam picks up;
Birthday present, precious, wants it, RING!
Denethor and Pelennor and we’re OK, right?
Right.

It's the end of the Age as we know it,
It's the end of the Age as we know it –
It's the end of the Age as we know it
And I feel fine – fine...

(It's time I headed West alone)


[Editor's Notes:
I think it almost fits; I've tried to tell the story in APPROXIMATELY the right order while being faithful to MOST of the internal rhymes. Very challenging linguistic exercise, and I'm not sure I've got it quite right. Comments and re-wording suggestions welcome.]